Amanda and Jazmine’s sudden and unnecessary deaths have affected so many of us. Each of us has our stories of how they both touched our lives, what they meant to us and how we miss them. What many don’t know is what really happened on that awful day.
Amanda had not been feeling well since Saturday. She was vomiting, having diarrhea and basically feeling sick. She had missed school on Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday evening Amanda asked me to get her an appointment with a doctor. Wednesday morning I went to work and began to find a doctor for her. Previous to having Jazmine, Amanda was seen by a pediatrician and then during the pregnancy she had an OB/Gyn. So I called the doctor I saw at the time. I wanted to get an appointment for myself as well because I was sure I had a bladder infection.
They reported that they did not have any openings for the day; however there was an urgent care clinic in the same building that they were in. I called Amanda and asked her to meet me at the Dreyer Medical Clinic on Fayban Parkway in Batavia at approximately 1:45. When we both arrived, Amanda got Jaz out of her car seat and we entered the clinic. Amanda had to fill out
a new patient form. I did not need to do this because they had my chart from the doctor’s office.
We were brought back to an examining room. They took care of me first. And I did have a bladder infection. The nurse now turned her attention to Amanda. She got Amanda’s information. Then Dr. Michael Collins entered our room. He confirmed that I did have a bladder infection. He then said that he believed that Amanda had the flu.
They were going to give her fluids and an anti-nausea medication intravenously. We had no concerns. She had been on anti-nausea medication during her pregnancy. As these medications entered her body she had a few episodes of feeling dizzy and a bit light headed. She needed to be helped to the restroom. She reported this to the nurse who replied “Dear, you are the one who said you haven’t eaten since Saturday”. As time progressed this feeling seemed to pass.
After the IV’s were complete, Dr. Collins made his second and final appearance in our room. He told us that if Amanda could keep down some Seven Up she would be released. She did. The nurse came back in the room and told us we could leave. We both asked if there were papers we needed to sign regarding our care. We were told no. It was now approximately 4:30.
We walked to our cars; I buckled Jazzy in her car seat and gave her a kiss. I looked up to the front seat and asked Amanda if she was OK. She said yes. She said that she did not feel any better or worse than when she came. I told her that I would stop at Walgreen’s and get our prescriptions, a berry 7up for her and then stop and get the boys dinner. I told her I loved her and would take care of Jazzy when I got home so she could try to get well enough to return to school the next day.
I told her that I loved her and she told me that she loved me and would see me at home. She pulled out onto the road. I followed behind her. The last I saw her was as her car turned left onto Randall road and I turned into Walgreen’s.
I was about twenty minutes from home and I got a phone call from Ashley. As well as being an awesome neighbor and a good friend to both Amanda and me, Ashley also watched Farrell and Stephen after school until either Amanda or I got home. Ashley asked me if I had heard from Amanda in the last ten minutes. I said, "No, why?" She said “Nothing." I told her that she could not call and ask me that without telling me why.
She said that her dad (who was on the fire department) had got called out to an accident with a teenager in the front seat and a baby in the back. I told her not to worry, I was sure that they were fine and that I would call Amanda and find out what was happening. I nexteled her and got no response. I tried again, no response. I next tried to call her. Again, no answer. I began to get nervous. I tried to remain calm. And then I came upon the road block.
I approached the gentleman who was directing traffic. I told him that I thought that my daughter and granddaughter were involved in what was going on. He asked me for my driver’s license and for me to pull over to the side of the road. Shortly he came back to my car and said that someone would be coming to talk to me.
As I sat alone I realized that I was going to go crazy if I did not find someone to talk me through this. I tried to call two of my sisters and got no answer. I then called my niece, Miranda. Bless her heart, she was there with me.
As I reported that I already knew Amanda was gone she would tell me to think positive. I told her that I knew part of my heart felt like it had physically left my body.
I told her of the helicopter and ambulance that I could see in the distance. She told me to have hope, they must be alive since they were being transported. When a van was allowed through the road block I told Randa, "See, I knew she was dead, there goes the coroner." She told me that I did not know that. I said, "Yes I do."
Although I had no idea on what had occurred, I did know that my best friend, my first born, my daughter was gone.
After I had sat there for about a half hour the van came back along with a police officer. It was then they confirmed that not only Amanda had died so also had my precious granddaughter. I heard a heart wrenching scream and realized it was me.
The coroners asked me to get out of my car. The police officer would drive me home while one of the coroners would drive my car. At this time I was throwing up and the police officer told me that when I was done I could get in his car and he would take me home.
That was a horrible ride. My mind was blank, yet it was so full. How could this have happened? How would I tell her brothers and Emo? How in the world could I tell him? What would I tell him, Ashley, Emily, Katie, Allison and all of her other friends? How in the world do you deliver this awful, unbelievable and senseless news?
My family was already on their way to my home, but the police officer told me that he could not bring me home unless there was an adult home. I told them that I was an adult and needed to get home to my boys and Ashley. He eventually got a hold of Ashley’s mom and dad. Her father had helped out at the accident site but left to be with Ashley when she was told...and to be there for me and the boys. They came over.
I walked in the door and saw Ashley, you know she knew something was terribly wrong, but was hoping for the best. I went up and gave her a hug and we both just cried.
The boys had been in the basement playing video games. I called them up. They saw the police officer and knew something was wrong. I sat them down on the couch with me and broke the news. My already broken heart was completely shattered now. She was so special to them and them to her. Jazmine had been a constant in their lives. They love them both so much and could not understand how this could have happened. Neither could any of us.
Next was to tell Emo. He was at work. I could not just call and tell him, we needed to wait for the Aurora police to arrive at his work. I wanted to be the one to tell him. But at this point the house became pure chaos. The phone was going crazy and I missed being able to be the one to tell him. The Aurora police needed to tell him. He and I talked shortly after.
From that moment on my life became a nightmarish blur. I remember bits and pieces.
I remember the coroner and me talking. I was telling him that I cannot understand how this could have happened. He told me that there had been a semi-tractor trailer involved. My first thought was that the truck must have hit her. I was then told that it was her car that had crossed the center line. This was inconceivable to me. Never would she ever do this. She was a great driver, hated semi trucks, never passed anyone on that road and was just two minutes from home.
As the conversation progressed I explained the events of the day...her visit to the clinic, the intravenous medication she was given and the fact that I stopped on the way home to pick up her and my prescriptions.
He asked to see Amanda’s prescription. Someone went to the car to get it. I remember the coroner calling the doctor and asking him why he let her drive home. The doctor replied that he did not know that she was driving.
My heart still breaks when I think of the poor innocent truck driver. Due to his severe injuries his life has drastically had to change. And I do not think he ever really knew what happened. I am so sorry.
My nightmare continued. I barely made it through. If not for my boys, my family, all the friends and the medication my rheumatologist prescribed for my nerves and mental state I would never have made it. My mind in a fog I barely functioned.
The coroner’s inquest was approaching. I was not sure that I could go. My brother volunteered to go with me. I reluctantly went. It was there that the cause of the accident became crystal clear.
One of the jurors was adamantly questioning the medication Amanda was given. My brother and I looked at each other and knew we had to do something about this. I called an attorney.
We began this ongoing, endless fight to get justice for our girls deaths.
Come to find out; the medication they gave her was named Phenergan. It is true that this medication could help with nausea, but it’s also used as a sedative and anti-histamine.
The drug insert directly states that once given you should not drive. We were never given this information. Things would have ended differently if we had.
Meanwhile life moved on for most. I tried to make mine do the same but it is hard. The unbearable grief and wanting to be “normal” again for the boys, my family, friends and myself were beginning to take their toll on me mentally and physically.
The first year was extremely hard, but people remember all of the anniversaries and give you support. The second year was much darker for me. Although I knew that everyone still loved and missed them, I was feeling alone. And as the year progressed my health declined.
By January 2007 I was hospitalized for the first of many times that year. I had many problems, many tests, many medications, blood transfusions, a blood clot and a visit to intensive care. The doctors were challenged to find out what was wrong. Come to find out it was determined that the chronic illness, lupus, that I was diagnosed with in 2001 and had been in remission since then had returned with a vengeance.
A major trigger for lupus is stress.
As 2007 continued my health slowly improved. I was hopeful about returning to my former life and for the court case to progress at a more expedient pace. This was not to be.
January 2008, my health became worse than it had been the previous year. This time there were more tests and medications. At one point I was on 160mg of prednisone intravenously. Although this helped with the immediate problems it ultimately caused more. I now had diabetes and a large weight gain.
I was released from the hospital and tried to resume what had been my normal. Being a single parent, running a business, dealing with my health and having this court case hanging over my head. My back started hurting really badly. Was I doing too much? Trying to be back to “normal” too quickly?
I went to the doctor. My back was broken. I now had osteoporosis due to the prednisone. The pain increased. I was diagnosed with two compression fractures. We scheduled surgery. The morning of surgery they took an additional MRI. Now they found two more. Since they could only repair two at a time they decided to repair the new ones and have me come back the next week to repair the remaining ones.
The week between the surgeries, I was confined to the couch. I was under strict orders to do nothing else. I did this. The boys and the business had to care for themselves. Family and friends brought dinner every night.
When I went in to get the second surgery they again took an MRI. Now there were two additional compressed vertebrae. They fixed the newer ones, and I still have two that were never treated. My healing is long, painful and humiliating. I needed a wheel chair, cane and large amounts of painkillers.
All of this distraction to my business and my lack of ability to do the job I am trained for devastated me financially. My house has been foreclosed on; the bills were/are a struggle to pay at home and at the office. Try as I might, there is a real chance I am going to lose everything. I try to do the work but my body is not able to do what I need it to do.
I thank God that I have my boys. They keep me going. I love them and hate what this has done to them. To lose their sister, niece and now to have to care for their mother while watching her suffer. That’s a lot.
What has helped us get through this is the support we have received from family, friends, teachers and Fox Valley Hospice with their fantastic programs for grieving children. And the knowledge that the horrific mistake that was made by the doctor, clinic and hospital would eventually be set right.
We are comforted by the fact that some one was helped by receiving Amanda’s eyes. And that memorial money was used to help buy supplies for a daycare room to help care for children as their teen parents pursue their educational goals. Also much of Jazmine’s clothing and furniture was given to a young mother ready to welcome her new blessing.
Then there is the “Love Jazmine Project”. This began as a way to honor Amanda’s love for Jazmine. Prior to the accident, Amanda was excited to be planning Jazmine’s first birthday party. Since Jazmine did not make it to her first birthday we decided to honor Amanda’s wish and we held a birthday party for Jazmine. The gifts that would have been intended for Jazmine were given to the hospitals that made it possible for us to have her, if even for too brief a time.
The first year there was a huge response and we were able to donate to Kishwaukee Community Hospital, Delnor Community Hospital and Children’s Memorial Hospital. Since the project was so successful, rewarding and healing for Jazmine’s family and friends the tradition has continued every year since. Although some years are more successful than others we always make Delnor Community Hospital our priority. If not for Delnor Community Hospital it is very likely that we would never have been blessed to have her in our lives.
We all just want our girls lives to matter. They did nothing wrong. Amanda and I trusted our medical care. We/I now know now that they don’t tell you all you need to know. You now need to be educated enough to not trust your medical staff. They don’t always do what is right. You have to know to always question, even when you don’t think you should need to.
After Amanda and Jazmine’s accident Dreyer Medical Clinic decided to implement a new procedure. They began informing patients when they are given a drug that could have sedative effects. It is too late for us, but hopefully it helps some one else.
We are still fighting this long battle. I just want to know when it will be OK for us to have some peace. The case has been taking forever. The beginning of November 2010 we agreed to enter into settlement talks. All were to come to this meeting with the commitment to make a good faith effort to come to some agreement so that we don’t have to endure the emotional stress of a trial.
Dr. Collins, Dreyer Medical and Advocate come off as being very cold. The doctor has never even attended any of the court dates. I guess he is too busy living his live. That’s what I want to do.
At the settlement talks they started by letting us know that they don’t want us to take anything that is about to be said personally. That if they could bring them back they would. Then they proceed to pull out their "Kelly Blue Book" for the human life. Find the base price, then start with the “discounts”. Less for Jazmine as she was diagnosed developmentally delayed, surely there would have been future medical and health care bills if she would have lived. And Amanda had seen a counselor. This, to them, does not show a woman who is smart enough to get help when she needs it. It shows a woman who’s “state of mind” must be questioned. So now their “worth” is less. Also, they see no correlation between the stress this has brought to my life and my declining health. They will not even consider that one had any thing to do with the other. What they care about is money, not what is right.
As for us, we will continue to fight for our girls. We will continue to do what we can for others. We will continue the “Love Jazmine Project” every year. We will do our best to carry on and make them proud.
I personally am being pulled to continue my role as Amanda’s mom by helping other young parents. I have begun my training to become a doula and would love to think I will someday be a foster mom for these parents. I would like to help them and to believe in them the same way I believed in Amanda, Emo and Jazmine.
I miss them.
One would think that after almost eight years our journey to get justice for our girls would be done. It is not. We have been fighting the defense over every little loophole they can find. I do not think they have any clue who they are dealing with. My boys and I will NEVER give up this fight no matter how hard they try to wear us down; it only makes us stronger and more determined to not give up on the girls. But we most certainly have given up on is the defense having a compassionate bone in their organization. Makes you wonder why and how they can be in the business of health care. You would think the two go hand in hand. Not at Advocate Health Care, Dreyer Medical or with Dr. Michael Collins. In their minds we are a bother, as was Amanda’s care to them on Wednesday January 26, 2005. Well all I can say is keep it coming and watch your money hemorrhage to the attorney’s you have hired. We will never stop. NEVER. You have already admitted what you did. We just do not understand how you cannot want to give us the peace and closure that we desire. Makes me wonder how many others you treat like this. I would bet a lot.
On November 26th we entered, once again, into settlement talks to no avail. We never go into these believing that we will be done. And of course we are not. There were new issues that the defense needed to disclose, someone anonymously left a message on their voice mail regarding our case. Instead of bringing it to the court’s attention when it happened, they waited until we had started settlement talks and then pulled it out. It is nothing we are worried about. How can anyone put credence into a message that is 1. Anonymous 2. From a blocked number 3. Is left at 1:15am and 4. Contents completely untrue hearsay? Nonetheless it was enough to delay the talks yet again. Honestly we expected as much. The date was rescheduled for January. In the meantime the boys were appointed a guardian ad litem, which is something we expected and welcome to happen. If anyone out there thinks that I do not have my children’s best interest in heart you do not know me. I fight for my kids in life and in death. We will ride this out knowing that we are right. We are loved by many as are Amanda and Jazmine. We are strong. We will not stop. EVER. Just a tip for the defense; with the money you keep spending on your attorneys we could have settled this long ago. But I am sure they appreciate it.
